Sonichu: The City on the Edge of Sanity
by melanie.deeee
Summary: An unassuming Pokémon trainer named Mel visits the city of CWCVille, only to find herself caught up in political intrigue, domestic drama and some *very* unwelcome attention from the city's mayor...


**[AN: I do not own Sonichu. Sonichu and all other non-OC characters belong to ****Chris- um,**** Nintendo and Sega.]**

Weather-worn and battered, I descended a steep hill, revealing a large city in the distance. I felt ill, spent, worn out. But I knew that however bad I felt, my Pokémon were doing it worse than I could ever know. In my desperation to become a Pokémon Master, I had overtrained my team. All of them had fainted, with the exception of my faithful Eevee. But even she was in no fit state to fight. To top it all off, I was broke from losing too many trainer battles. I knew I had to make it to the nearest Pokémon Centre, and soon. Good thing the Pokémon Medicare system was free, or else I wouldn't know what I'd do...

As I approached the city, I could tell that the weed of urban decay had firmly taken root here. Skyscrapers lay in ruins, beggars had taken to the streets in droves. A large sign outside the city gates informed me that "You Are Entering The City Of CWCVille, VA. Mayor: Christian Weston Chandler. No Drugs Or Tobacky. No H (the rest of the sentence was crudely scribbled out and replaced with) Just Don't Act Too Gay In Public, Alright? Cross-Dressing Encouraged."

I sighed deeply, fumbling for my packet of cigarettes and placing it in my rucksack, where no-one could find it. _At least I don't have to wear a bloody dress, _I thought with a bitter chuckle.

I stepped into the confines of the sad city.

Just then, a yellow ball zoomed towards me. Reflexively, I put my arms up in self-defense mode. When it was obnoxiously close to my face, the ball revealed itself to be some kind of yellow hedgehog. Or perhaps a mutant Pikachu or something. It was hard to tell which.

"Zip-zappity zoo, welcome to CWCVille!" said the weird creature in a nasally squeak. I know first impressions aren't supposed to be everything, but I could already tell that I'd be getting pretty nauseous if I had to spend too much time around this one. "I'm Sonichu! My father is Christian Weston Chandler, the mayor of this city!"

"Um, cool," was all I could think to say.

I was about to ask if there was a Pokémon Centre nearby, but Sonichu rudely cut me off.

"Say, you're quite the pretty young lady!" he babbled. "Might I ask for your name?"

"Um, thanks. It's Mel. But I'm not interested, sorry." I wondered why it was that no matter where I went, I was always getting hit on by creepy men and strange mutant Pokémon (or whatever this Sonichu was supposed to be).

He chuckled lightheartedly. "Oh no, Mel, you misunderstand! I'm already devoted to my heartsweet, Rosechu! I was only asking on behalf of Mayor Christian Weston Chandler, who's the mayor of this fine city of CWCVille! He's been...um, mighty sad and lonely these days. He's been dealing with a lot of Stress and Sadness just trying to cope with his mayoral duties here, as well as his depressing Real Life Existence!"

"Um, Real Life?" I asked, growing increasingly perplexed at this yellow creature's barely-coherent ramblings.

Sonichu ignored the question. "He's been looking for a Sweetheart From The Ground-Up, and you look beautiful enough to fulfill that role!"

"Well, I'm flattered," I lied. "But I'm really not interested in being a sex kitten for a man who..." I made a wide, angry gesture at all the rubble and poverty and decay that surrounded us "...appears to have bigger priorities on his plate right now than going on dates!"

Sonichu seemed flustered all of a sudden. "Y-you mean...you're a l- you're more interested in _China_ than our mayor's triumphant manhood?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. I'd never been to China in my life. I gave an exasperated shrug.

"Do you already have a boyfriend? I was under the impression that you were a boyfriend-free girl. Oh, Christian is going to be so crushed..."

"No, I'm single," I told him honestly.

"Then what...?"

"I just have no interest in being propositioned by obnoxious critters on behalf of creepy men who, from the looks of it, are _terrible _at upholding their responsibilities! Now if you wouldn't mind, can I get directions to the nearest Pokémon Centre so that I can heal my Pokémon and be on my way?"

Dejected, Sonichu pointed me toward the North-Eastern sector of the city, and I was off, glad to be free of this bizarre hedgehog man and his incompetent mayor.

But even as I was walking away, Sonichu continued to shout at me with desperation.

"Heeey! Mel! What's your number! Chris will call you! He's a really nice and charming guy! I can vouch for him! Meeeel! Heeeeeey!"

At that, I broke into a run. I didn't stop running until I was outside the city's Pokémon Centre.

Like every other building in this depressing place, it was a run-down shack that almost seemed to be crumbling to dust before my very eyes.

Bracing myself for the horrors that might await, I stepped inside...


End file.
